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FAML 110 Weekly Note Journal W05

This week we learned about boundaries and money. I think boundaries are a really important discussion to have before you get married and certainly before you live with someone. Almost all arguments happen because someone overstepped into someone else's boundaries. When you have a roommate you need to have cleanliness boundaries and food boundaries. When you are newlyweds you need to have communication boundaries and relationship boundaries. When you go out with friends you need to respect the boundaries that you have agreed on.

If my husband went to school to work on a project with a group, but only the girl in the group showed up and he spent an evening alone with another woman--that would break one of our relationship boundaries. Even if it wasn't on purpose I would expect him to ask me to come or to postpone the meeting until more of the group could be there. That's just part of our relationship and it goes both ways.

Another boundary that we have is that we always ask each other before we spend more than $5. Always. I know that's getting into the money section, but money is a boundary too. We set these rules in place in our first year of marriage. They didn't feel like restrictions either. They felt like ways we could mutually respect and support each other.

Money is one of the main reasons couples break up. If you don't make good money choices together then you will have money troubles the rest of your marriage. You are both responsible for working together as a team to solve and maintain a budget and an understanding of how much money you have and what it is allocated for.

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